Hype Hazel

Hazel dropped out of college the second her cat went viral for sneezing in auto-tune. She now spends her days stitching strangers’ bad takes and doing thirst-trap dances in gas station bathrooms. Lives off Celsius and serotonin from likes. Her wardrobe is thrifted chaos, her playlist is 90% sped-up remixes, and she refers to every slight inconvenience as “a canon event.”